I can be very bipolar at times, I swear. There are days when I’m perfectly fine, but feel like giving up on other days. Maybe because I have so many unsolved issues deep down inside. I’ve gone through things a girl my age shouldn’t have gone through. I have both anger and depression built up inside me, so I have a tendency to explode. Honestly the only people keeping me sane would be my son, my boyfriend, my sister, and a few close friends. Without them, I don’t know where I would be. My son is my world. He’s the reason why I work hard, why I live in fact. I want to give him everything. I couldn’t give him a complete family, which is why I’m so tough about having a good relationship with his father. Unfortunately, not everyone sees it the way I do. It just gets me so upset that my son can’t have both parents all the time. All I wanted was for his father to try, to try with the same effort as I did. I just feel alone, I feel like I’m really on my own with this. It’s as if his dad is just a WEEKEND DAD, literally. As much as I don’t want to be the person to cut off his father as far as seeing him on weekdays and not being informed about everything, I have to. As much as I love my son, I can’t let him see his mom being unappreciated. In order to co-parent bother parents must try and be there. I can’t do everything, while his dad just waits for me to update him and just be in charge of groceries. What about school, therapy, doctor’s/dentist’s appointments, etc.? It would be nice if his dad was more involved. I understand his father is trying to move on and build a new relationship. People shouldn’t take up new responsibilities if they can handle the old one, or not have their priorities straight. I just have to realize that we’re all different, we all have different priorities in life. My son is mine. As for his dad, I hope he figured it out before it’s too late.
I’m sure we all have some things we regret. To this day, I’m not sure if I regret ever meeting Jaeson’s father. It’s wrong to say or think, I know. Because without him, I wouldn’t have a beautiful son. I may not regret meeting him or starting a family with him, but I do regret trying so hard. I shouldn’t have given this person everything I had to offer. I shouldn’t have forgave so much. I shouldn’t have given him a second chance to get back into our lives. All I wanted was to make the best decision for my son. I thought that having both parents in his life would make up for not having an actual complete family. Unfortunately, being civil was harder than I thought. I used to believe that Jaeson needs to have his father as role model. I now realize that I could be that person, I could be everything my son needs me to be. Whether his father is here or not, there’s no difference. Because I honestly feel like I’m the only one trying to provide Jaeson the best life. I guess some people will never change, they will always have mixed priorities. Just my luck, I had a kid with a child. I get so stressed out easily, but I try my best to keep it together. Ever since the day my son was born, I’ve done every single thing for him. I don’t think anyone else is capable of doing what I do for him. My son is my world, I can give him the world all by myself
Here is a picture of Michael Ealy in a hat and a black t-shirt.
No need to thank me.
I know how grateful you all are.